Long time....

I know it's been awhile since my last update. But for good reasons. There just hasn't been anything new to report. Other then the fact that I've been feeling extremely antisocial and am still nesting like crazy. I think we can officially say that things are as ready as they'll ever be for Faith to arrive. We set-up the changing table, bassinet, and cleaned all the things that needed to be cleaned and sterilized.

Our OB appt yesterday went really well. We did plan to do a fetal fibronectin but since there are only 3 more days left were they would actually do anything if it came back positive, my doctor decided to skip it. And I was actually fine with that. My cervix was closed still. Yay! Her heart was nice and strong. But the best news of the day was that she is head down! A week or so ago I thought that my belly had shifted. Even Cody noticed. My OB said that chances are extremely slim that she'll go back to breech before delivering. But you never know. Especially with this little girl. She never fails to surprise us! So after our appt Cody and I were joking that of all the kids, she'll probably come the latest. Despite all the trouble she gave us early on. But then when we got home, I started to feel really crampy and had a large amount of spotting mixed with mucus. HMMMM...could it be my mucus plug? I first explained it away by thinking it was just from the internal exam but as Cody pointed out, this was the first time this has happened and I've had more internal exams then you could count by now. Plus it wasn't the normal brown tinged discharge. This time it was pink, plentiful, and thick. So who knows? If it indeed was my mucus plug, then we're looking at probably 2 weeks versus 4 weeks.

We are getting so excited and anxious. But I hate to see it end. This is definitely our last one and I want to savor every move and kick. Of course I would love to see her, kiss her, cuddle her, but once she is born, that's it. It's so weird to have all these mixed emotions. I could write a whole blog on this subject so I'll save it for another day. But for now, I'm just grateful that in 2 days, I will be 34 weeks. We've made it!

No News=Good News

31 weeks and 3 days today. It's starting to feel like I'm stuck on a treadmill that's going nowhere. Like I'm at a stand still. Cody and I have been doing little things around the house like rearranging some of the furniture in our room to make way for a bassinet, cleaning out the cars to make room for a carseat, and having our labor bag ready and packed. But it seems like nothing is really ready. We do have to wait to get her room offically ready until my sister and her family move out in March. But I think the reason why I feel so ill prepared is because genius me had the idea to have my family baby shower after Faith arrives. Now I'm not so sure. I'm sure Cody would just say it's my OCD taking over and my insatiable need to have everything ready and done NOW. Even though she really won't be here for another 4-6 weeks.

We had another appt with the OB today. She sounds and looks great. I haven't had any problems these last 2 weeks (knock on wood) and it's been nice and uneventful. Almost like a normal pregnancy. We did the planned fetal fibronectin and hopefully won't hear from him for another 2 weeks. No News is Good News. But she still is head up. I think I'm just adjusting to the idea that she won't end this journey called pregnancy without one last fight. I like to think of her as my little fighter. So far God has given me a little peek into her personality and I think we are in for the ride of our lives.

Jacob is the silent over acheiver full of energy and all around sports jock. Caleb is the life of the party (like his grandpa Dennis) and very passionate and strong willed when he believes in something. Even if he's wrong. And now I have a feeling little Faith will keep us on our toes and the need to be ready for anything at anytime. It's just amazing to watch God's hand at work with my children. The fact that he has a design and purpose for each and every single one of us is comforting and reassuring. I'm sure I speak for Cody along with myself when I say we are so blessed. We are rich with family, friends, and each other. And I know that after little Faith makes her debut, we are complete as a family.

Nesting isn't for the birds!

"They" say a pregnant woman's urge to nest is real and something not to be reckoned with. I must say I agree. I know I'm still 6-8 weeks away from my goal of keeping Faith in till 35-37 weeks but I am wanting to do everything to the house but replace the kitchen sink. It's like all those little skuff marks that have been on my base boards for more than 2 years all the sudden appeared in the last week and the kids precious little greasy hand marks along the hallway are just now jumping out at me in 3-D. Poor Cody has had to endure list after list and conversation after conversation about the things that have to get done before Faith arrives. And to add insult to injury I can't exactly just hop up and crack-clean when I feel the urge coming on. So it will be an interesting time in the Haddan household these next 2 months. I do have my mom who is good at directing and keeping you focused when doing cleaning-up projects. And a dad who's an excellent handy man and who can help direct and supervise Cody when it comes to all the handy work that needs to be done around the house.

As for me and Faith, we are doing well. No real problems for the last 2 weeks with the exception of last night. I've been feeling a little under the weather (aches, headache, super tired) for the past few days and have tried to take it easy. Last night I started to notice some mild uterine cramping that was tolerable but pretty constant. So I called my doctor's office. All I wanted to do was just get permission to take an extra Procardia pill to see if that would help. But I was instructed to go into L&D to get checked given my history. So off to the hospital we went. While I was there I was checked for a UTI and had another fetal fibronectin test done. The doctor also checked to see if I was dialating. Cervix was closed but it was softened. I was also having some real mild cramping that you could see on the monitor but Faith looked great. I was running a low grade temp. Despite all that the tests came back negative. It looked like maybe my body is just fighting off a bug and I need to stay hydrated and lots of rest. So that is what I've been trying to do today. A lot easier said then done!

Home stretch

Well, we're on week 28 and that makes it the third and final trimester! Yeah!!! A milestone I didn't think we'd see but we did.

I had my regular OB check-up today. Little Faith is going strong. Her heart was nice and strong and I got kudos for not gaining any weight. I've actually lost a total of 13 lbs this whole pregnancy. Don't ask me how cause just being off my feet as much as I have, I thought I would have gained it all back plus some. My glucose tolerance test was perfect so no gestational diabetes. The little stinker is still breech. The doctor said we usually wouldn't worry about it until 36 weeks. But he's not too optimistic that she will make it till 36/37 weeks. So we breifly discussed having to manually turn her if I go into labor before she turns on her own. Just one more thing to pray about.

We are also going to stick with seeing him every 2 weeks now to continue to do the fetal fibronectin tests until 36 weeks (same stuff we were doing at the specialists). Then we'll go to every week at the 36 week mark.

Cody and I are getting excited and anxious. Just wondering what she looks like and actually being able to hold her in our arms. I can't wait till she's born (not till at least 35 weeks, thank you very much) just because when she's finally here and doing well, and I won't have to worry about keeping her in on a week to week basis. And being scared about every contraction and twinge. I'll just have to be worried and scared about her for the rest of my life. :)

Ringing in the New Year with a bang!

Don't let the title fool you. We actually slept through midnight. I think Cody and I feel asleep around 10 pm. When we woke up we had 7 text messages from our family and friends who have a much more exciting life wishing us Happy New Year's!

We did, however, get some great news today at our perinatalagy appt. No more coming back. Unless we start having problems. Cervix is still 28-32 mm. Contractions are under control with the Procardia and I'm at 27 weeks. So things are looking really, really good! My prediction is she'll make her grand entrance in about 8-10 weeks. It seems so surreal. Just yesterday (really 8 weeks ago) I just wanted to know the sex of my baby. And then through a whirlwind of events, we are here now. It seems so far away but yet right around the corner!

My grandma called me a few weeks ago to check on me. She is what I call a charismatic Catholic. She has some extra channel to God and has faith like no one else I know. Human doubt is not in this woman's nature. And she is a prayer warrior. Whenever anyone needs prayer, it's "call Grandma Rita". She never acts surprised whenever prayers are answered. When I told her my progress and that my cervix actaully thickened (despite what science said would happen), she just asked "And do you know who did that?". I told her "God, of course!". It's because of her prayers and everyone else's prayers that we have made it this far. Everyone's faith gets tested every now and then. And I think we can safely say ours had been tested alot, lately.

Our journey is not over. It's only just begun. And anyone who's raised girls tells us that we have no clue what's in store for us. Just continue to keep us in your prayers and I will be updating my blog every week or so. Just know that we are so appreciative to everyone for all your support you have given us, in one form or another. God is so good!

2009 in a nutshell

Another new year is approaching and of course, it brings up the thoughts of what this last year encompassed. Many, many blessings and some tragedies.

Our year started off like any other. Resolutions that weren't kept and recovering from the holidays. January brought some mixed blessings. My sister was diagnosed with a rare strep A infection that could have killed her had it not been caught for another 24 hours. But we also found out that she was pregnant with her fourth child (definitely not planned but wanted just the same). Elizabeth was welcomed to the world September 18th and both mom and her are the picture of health.

Spring time brought alot of busyness. We were introduced to the wonderful world of childhood sports. Jacob joined a TBall team and loved every minute of it. I once heard a parent describe it as trying to heard a bunch of cats. And that description fits it perfectly. We enjoyed watching every game. He is now wanting to join PEEWEE football but I have my reservations. Maybe we'll let that pass for a year or so.

In June we got to attend Jacob's preschool graduation. Let's just say I didn't make it through without a tear or two (ok, probably more like a tiny stream). Hate to see what I'll be like at his other graduations. Cody just smiles at me and tells me how much he loves me when I get like that. :)

The summer went by like a blur. Trips to Lake Tahoe, a family vacation to our cabin in Pinecrest, lots of BBQ's and playing outside until 8-9 o'clock at night. And the exciting news that after a year of trying, we would be welcoming our third addition to the family. Along with 2 of my other sisters. All due with in days of each other. And we didn't plan it that way; it just happened.

Then end of July, my big boy Jacob started Kindergarten and my little baby Caleb, now 4 years old, started preschool. During the fall, lots of time spent taxing kids to and from school. And occasional days helping in the classrooms. The holiday countdown began with Halloween. Both the boys were Darth Vader (sp?) simply because they wanted to carry a light saber around. Gotta love boys.

Thanksgiving was celebrated with the majority of my siblings in town (a grand total of 25 of us between in-laws and kids too). Chaos at it's best but nice to see everyone.

Then this December. Marked by numerous doctor's appts and stress, stress, stress. (refer to previous posts). But all is well now. At least for today. We are counting our blessings now more then ever. And among all the stress and events that have been going on, I'm ending this year with a calm peace.

I've learned that no matter how stressed you get about something, it doesn't make the situation any better. Mine and Cody's motto now is "as long as we have each other and the kids, then we have everything we need". All of the other stuff in our life is just that, stuff. And lastly God is in control. Such a hard lesson for me to learn. Because I am somewhat of a control freak. But that's just part of satan's deception. Making me think that I'm in control. I have no control and God has it all. The more I grasp that reality, the more I have this wave of peace come over me. I'm 29 and just getting that. Wow!

I received a call on Monday from one of my friends from work. The year wouldn't end without one more blow. A special little boy whom we all came to love and advocate for went home to be with the Lord. His body was tired of fighting and he went out quite and peaceful. Everyone who took care of this boy couldn't help but love him. He had a beautiful grin. I got to see him last week when I went by the NICU. My last memory is of this chubby bunny swinging in his swing and giving me his famous little grin. When I learned the circumstances of his passing, all I can say is God's hand was in it the whole time. A sister in Christ was the last one to hold him; singing and praying him home to his heavenly father. My new year will begin my going to his funeral. Although there will be tears and alot of emotion, I know he has a perfect body now and he is no longer suffering.

To sum up this year;
"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born and a time to die
A time to plant, and a time to harvest
A time to kill, and a time to heal
A time to break down, and a time to build up
A time to weep, and a time to laugh
A time to mourn, and a time to dance
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing
A time to gain, and a time to lose,
A time to keep, and a time to throw away
a time to tear , and a time to sew
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak
A time to love, and a time to hate
A time of war, and a time of peace."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Merry Christmas to me!

I got an early Christmas present. Today was another great day at the doctor's! Cervix looks the same. No changes and we are still at 31 mm. And no funneling. But doctor said that that can change on a day to day basis. Only complaint is contractions are starting to pick-up right before I take my medicine. Probably due to the increasing weight of my uterus and baby. So we will look at possibly uping my dose. Downside is that the true use for Procardia is to lower blood pressure and help heart function. So when I take it, I feel dizzy, light headed, and flushed. If I can't handle uping my dose, we'll have to look at going up the chain of meds and starting terb. Faith is growing and thriving. She weighs 829 grams ( 1 lb 12 oz). When the tech told me her wegiht, I was so happy and surprised. I was expecting for her to only be 600-700 grams. And we got some really cute pictures. Such a difference 4 weeks makes for a fetus. She is looking healthier and chubbier with every scan.

After our appointment we shot over to my home away from home; St Mary's NICU. I had some yummy treats in tow and I wanted to show Cody a baby that weighed as much as ours. It was sooooooo nice to see everyone and be back there. I really do miss being a nurse but I know that it will be there waiting for me after this little one is born. We got to see a 800 gram baby. He was so little and hairy. But doing well. I'm sure that was somewhat reassuring to Cody to see such a little creature thriving outside the womb. I also chatted it up with some of my friends. I hope that if things continue to go well, I can eventually do some sort of lunch or get together just to visit with everyone I miss so much.

Christmas is nearing and can I just tell you that we have been blessed beyond words! We received the most tremendous care package from work. And using the word generous to describe the contents is putting it mild. Food, paper goods, money, gift cards and more! I don't know how I will ever be able to repay them. I just hope that they know how much we appreciate it. It makes concentrating on keeping this little girl in alot easier. Honeslty, how can you "take it easy" when you worry about bills, food, and Christmas on top of everything else? But with the kindness of my co-workers, I can. And work isn't the only one who gave so generously. We've gotten gifts from family, extended family, friends, and even strangers. Let's just say I have a long list of thank you notes that need to get written and sent.

Lastly, have a blessed Christmas this year. Appreciate the simple things this year; being with your family and surrounded by people who love you.