Life takes alot of twists and turns that you can't always control. One day you are a busy mom taking the everyday tasks for granted. And the next day you are banned from doing them. One day you are a nurse in the NICU and the next you face the possibility of having your own baby in the NICU. If, and only if, you can hold her in that long. That's why I've started this blog.
My journey didn't start a week and a half ago, when all the contractions and "issues" started. It started over a year ago when we decided to make the last and final addition to our family. With much coaxing, Cody decided that he would give into his wife's maternal craving. Little did we know it would be the longest year of our lives. After conceiving immediately with the boys we figured it wouldn't take more then a few months. Boy, were we wrong. Almost a year went by before we finally saw that extra line on the pregnancy stick. Thank God! After that, the weeks went by like a blur. Fast and crazy. Until 20 weeks 1 day. I'd been having Braxton Hicks contractions for a few days. I chalked it up to working a 3 day stretch, night shift, and 12 hours on my feet. But by my 3rd night, things just didn't feel right. Lot's of cramping and pressure that should be there yet. Since I happen to work in the NICU, which is only a few feet away from L&D, I walked over to just check things out. It was more like escorted by one of my friends at work, since I was an emotional mess at that point. I was told that my cervix possibly could be shortening and that I need to have an ultrasound to make sure everything is ok. And no matter what, go home, rest, and follow up with our OB. That was the start of it all. We got to find out that night that we were indeed having our little princess. Unfortunately that wasn't the way I wanted to find out. My excitement was overshadowed by doubt and the uncertainty of her fate.
After a few days of resting we got to have our official ultrasound at our OB's office. She was perfect. And I was not. My cervix was showing signs of funneling. However my OB assured me that he's sure I'll be ok and we'll follow up in 4 weeks. And I may resume my normal activities. The next night I worked again. I received a fairly busy assignment of babies and by the first hour, the familiar feeling of cramping and tightening began. I couldn't help but think of my cervix thinning with every twinge. It was an emotional night and after talking with my supervisor, some co-workers and a mom who had twins in the NICU who went through something similar, I decided that I needed to go home and listen to that little voice in my head telling me this doesn't feel right. The next morning, I called my OB and asked for a referral to a perinatalagist, a specialist with high-risk pregnancies. We were able to get in within a few days. The specialist confirmed that by cervix was even shorten then the previous week by half. And we also learned that I was contracting regularly. So off to the hospital I went with the ever supportive husband by my side.
I was admited for a total of 2 days. The contractions were very regular at first but with Procardia every 6 hours and bedrest they were under control. The medicine made me feel horrible. Massive headache, flushed, pounding heartbeat, and dizzy. But I would endure anything just to keep the baby in and safe.
Now I am at home and on bedrest. It is the hardest thing I've had to do. Not being able to get your boys cereal or get up to see their lego statue they built and are so proud of is heart breaking. But I have to see it from the perspective that I'm saving my baby. We have another appointment with the specialist in 4 days to check the progress of everything. The possibility of a cerlage (sewing the cervix shut) or having to go back in the hospital is very real . It's hard not to be pessimistic when all we've heard is bad news up to this point. But we always hope and pray for the best.
I will use this blog to let everyone now how things are going. We've have been told by so many of you that we are in your prayers and thoughts. And that you have your friends, families, and churches praying for us. The power of prayer is so amazing and we appreciate it more then any of you will ever know.
